Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
