dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
