You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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