Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
