Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didn't notice because vodka
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
