Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
