I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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