I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
