There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
