I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think my tv is drunk
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
