Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
