Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
