Whatcha textin bout Willis?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
