OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
