I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
