Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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