dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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