my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize