now i know why i became what i already was.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
