also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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