So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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