I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my liver is dry heaving
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
