I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
