I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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