Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
