For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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