dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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