does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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