last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
