Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
honey bunches of taint.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
