Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
