when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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