I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize