I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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