Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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