Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
