Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
