ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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