why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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