Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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