Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
