THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There are leaves in my underwear?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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