I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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