It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
