I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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