ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
