Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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