is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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