is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize