i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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