Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
