Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
