I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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