remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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