I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize