Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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