I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
