he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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